Jordan Mallory
Contributing Editor - jordan@joystiq.com
A Texas native, Jordan spends the majority of his time writing articles and being broiled alive by the hateful sun. Like all other great men, Jordan is extremely humble regarding his abundant excellence and devastating good looks. When able, he enjoys spending time at his local arcade.
By night, Jordan takes his reckless disregard for the haters public by spitting sick verses under the Hip-hop pseudonym JPHONIC. He is also the lead singer and songwriter for folktronica duo Maniac Robot, whose debut EP Superior Vena Cava is now available for zero dollars.
Jordan Mallory's Latest Posts
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Rumor: EA to reveal COD Elite-like service for Battlefield 3 at E3
Electronic Arts is prepping its own subscription-based companion service for its flagship military-centric first person shooter, according to a "very reliable source" belonging to Battlefieldo. The service (dubbed Battlefield™ Premium) would be to Battlefield 3 what Activision's Call of Duty ...
Square Enix sees 6 billion yen profit in fiscal 2012 thanks to Deus Ex, FFXIII-2
Square Enix's financial results for fiscal 2012 have been posted, and thanks to the releases of Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Final Fantasy XIII-2, the developer has ended the year in the black, to the tune of a ¥6.06 billion (or $75.9 million) profit. Total income from sales for the fiscal ...
Stiq Figures, April 30 - May 6: SG-1000 edition
Welcome to Stiq Figures, where the sales data is after the break and the posts don't matter. Every week, we take a look at, uh, something – meanwhile, the previous week's Japanese hardware sales figures are posted after the jump, and a discussion of said figures takes place in our comments. ...
DLC Quest now on Mac App Store
Going Loud Studios' uniquely endearing commentary on the current state of our industry's fetish for all things microtransactional is now available on the Mac App Store for $0.99, a whole dollar less than its original price on Desura. In case you somehow missed our Indie Pitch or the subsequent ...
Rumor: Awesomenauts DLC character info discovered
A GameFaqs forums user by the name of MirrorB appears to have unearthed information detailing two forthcoming Awesomenauts DLC characters, one of which was already teased officially two days ago. Sprites (above) and character sheets recovered from the game's system files outline two new ...
Buy the greatest song ever written (and other Sonic soundtracks) on iTunes [update]
The pinnacle of all human achievement, "Open Your Heart" from the Sonic Adventure soundtrack, is now available on iTunes, as are a plethora of other Sonic-related albums from across the breadth of time and space. The soundtracks to Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic CD and others can be ...
Good morning, here's the Dragon's Dogma launch trailer
Most people may not know this, but starting your day off with dragons, burning ouroboroses and cheesy, overwrought voice acting is just as important as eating a well-balanced breakfast. It's something to do with fiber, and having your humors balanced ... Look, we're not nutritionists, okay? ...
Weekly Webcomic Wrapup is confused and scared
Roughly two and a half weeks ago, at the behest of the Joystiq Qrew and my family, I ceased all consumption of soda-pop and fast-food. The change has been dramatic, to say the least, and while I feel less "full of goo" than I once did, I fear that I also may be changing into someone, or something, ...
Behind the scenes of Modern Warfare 3's 'Face Off' DLC and Content Collection 2
Modern Warfare 3's upcoming Face Off mode isn't set hit to Xbox 360-enabled living rooms until next Wednesday, May 16, but it's never too soon to start using promotional materials (like the behind the scenes video above and screenshots below) to start memorizing map layouts. This is war, dammit, ...
Gate Five's lawsuit against Beyonce going to court
Manhattan judge Charles Ramos has ruled that Gate Five's lawsuit against Beyonce Knowles is sufficiently jelly prepared, and as such will be heading to court at some unspecified date in the future. Justice Ramos agreed with Gate Five's assertion that Beyonce did not give proper notice before ...
